Mariel Buque, American psychologist, author of "Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma" is visiting the "In Simple Words" podcast. She is also the head of the Center for Mental Health and Research "Break the Cycle of Trauma". Her mission is to help reduce the recurrence of negative childhood experiences in communities, lacking mental health services.

The guest shared how the bodily experience of peace and security can influence our excessive emotional reactions. Why is an hour-long yoga class sometimes not the best way to relax? How can we integrate simple relaxation techniques into our daily routine? And why it helps to improve mental health in the long run.

The season "Science of Resilience" of the "In Simple Words" podcast is released as part of the initiative of First Lady Olena Zelenska to implement the All-Ukrainian Mental Health Program "How Are You?" The project was implemented in cooperation with the Coordination Center for Mental Health of the Cabinet of Ministers of Ukraine, with the support of WHO.

You can listen to the full conversation on all podcast platforms

Sometimes we get stuck in excessive emotional reactions that destroy our relationships, prevent us from moving along our chosen path, and drain us mentally and physically. Prolonged stress and the sense of threat we have been living with in recent years contribute to this condition.

According to Buque, the best medicine against overreacting is constant conscious work on one's own emotional state. Our emotional reactions can be based on early childhood experiences; we can inherit them through the mechanisms of intergenerational trauma [the one passing from one generation to the other — ed.], but, regardless of the cause, it is in our power to break this cycle, change our emotional reactions and not pass them on to the next generations.

Emotions only convey a message

Buque reminds us that emotions are neither good nor bad; they only give us information, convey messages about how we perceive the world and people around us. An emotional response can tell us in which situations we feel most vulnerable, where to direct our attention. EMOTIONS ARE REALLY WISE, THEY CAN SHOW WHERE IT HURTS US THE MOST, AND THAT'S WHERE YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON HEALING, 'adds the psychologist.

Start with the body

Working with thoughts, keeping a diary, and talking to a therapist are really important parts of our self-help toolkit when dealing with difficult emotional states. However, according to Buque, BODILY PRACTICES are the FIRST STEP IN REGULATING EMOTIONS. The body has a cellular memory, and it is activated whenever we feel a threat to our emotional security.

Therefore, working with the body is the most effective way to feel better in the moment, while at the same time it builds our long-term emotional resilience.

Self-help techniques in your pocket

In difficult times, we really need support. According to Mariel Buque, the voices of people we hold dear are almost like medicine in such moments. But we can always count on the support of others. Therefore, we must learn to help ourselves during difficult emotional states.

The psychologist talks about three effective and accessible body-oriented practices, which she always has in her toolkit, and advises clients to use as well.

1.

Breathe calmly for five minutes

There are different types of deep breathing, but it's not necessarily about which ones are most effective. It is more important how much time we spend breathing calmly for it to give a relaxation signal to our nervous system.

It should last at least 60 seconds, but the perfect timing is FIVE MINUTES OF SLOW INHALING AND EXHALING. THIS IS AN EFFECTIVE METHOD TO REDUCE OVERREACTING PROCESS IN WHICH WE ARE STUCK.

2.

Swing from side to side

When we rock our body, the relaxation response is induced. Buque calls it rocking, BECAUSE this IS WHAT WE DO TO BABIES TO CALM THEM DOWN and make them FALL ASLEEP. The same principle works for the nervous system of adults.

3.

Humming in a low voice

The sound of a very deep, low tone voice helps us relax and feel more at ease. You don't have to do it for a long time; one song is enough. Mariel suggests trying this practice while just listening to music. CHOOSE ONE SONG AND INSTEAD OF SINGING THE WORDS, JUST HUM IT IN A LOW VOICE

Such simple actions reprogram our brains

When we engage in bodily practices for relaxation, OUR BODIES remember THIS STATE OF EMOTIONAL SECURITY and PEACE in the long run. The more we create these connections inside your brain and body, the more important place they will occupy. PREVIOUS CONNECTIONS THAT MAY HAVE BEEN FORMED AS A RESULT OF PROLONGED STRESS OR TRAUMA WILL GRADUALLY GET REDUCED AND stop influencing the functioning of our system.

Big changes consist of small steps

In order to introduce any new useful habit into our routine, we need to gradually build our skills set. Buque says that she STARTED 15 YEARS AGO with the FIVE MINUTES MINDFULNESS PRACTICE EVERY MORNING. She now devotes an hour each morning to meditation, gratitude and mindfulness practices. To do this, you had to rebuild your whole life and compartmentalize priorities.

However, according to Mariel, the five MINUTES from WHICH SHE STARTED WERE AMAZING and GAVE A POWERFUL EFFECT. At the beginning of the healing path, such steps which ARE AVAILABLE, BUT NEVERTHELESS REGULAR, PROVE TO BE MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE, BECAUSE THEY DON'T SCARE YOU AWAY WITH THEIR COMPLEXITY.

“Breaking the cycle requires daily experience". This is a practice we should devote time to everyday, so it should be easy to implement. If I tell a person to do something that seems unattainable and does not fit into their lifestyle, it is very unlikely that they will implement the practice. And then I will not fulfill my mission, namely — to help this person change their life."

You don't have to go to yoga to relax

Today we have to follow such a rigid rhythm of life and multitask all the time so there's almost next to no time to devote to bodily practices.

Buque explains that it can take up to three hours of our time to get ready, walk or drive to the yoga studio, work out for an hour, change clothes, return home or to the office.

Therefore, IT IS UNFAIR TO DEMAND FROM ONESELF TO SPEND ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO FEEL THE PEACE WE DESERVE. The researcher believes that IT IS MORE HUMANE AND AFFORDABLE TO SPEND FIVE MINUTES ON DEEP BREATHING OR 60 SECONDS ON RELAXATION IN BETWEEN WORK MEETINGS. The key is TO DO IT DAILY.

One year of daily activities changes bodily memory

According to Buque, there is now a consensus in the world of neuroscience that bodily memory requires approximately 300–400 REPETITIONS OF PRACTICE FOR IT TO BECOME A NEW NORM. This is one year of daily repetitions. It seems like a lot, but when we think about it from the perspective of a lifetime, it becomes obvious that MANY OF US HAVE BEEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE of the SAME EMOTIONAL REACTIONS for TWO, THREE, FOUR DECADES, AND THESE REACTIONS SEEM INSURMOUNTABLE TO US. But in one year of conscious effort we can change them.

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THE SEASON "SCIENCE OF RESILIENCE" OF THE "IN SIMPLE WORDS" PODCAST IS RELEASED AS PART OF THE INITIATIVE OF FIRST LADY OLENA ZELENSKA TO IMPLEMENT THE ALL-UKRAINIAN MENTAL HEALTH PROGRAM "HOW ARE YOU?" THE PROJECT WAS IMPLEMENTED IN COOPERATION WITH THE COORDINATION CENTER FOR MENTAL HEALTH OF THE CABINET OF MINISTERS OF UKRAINE, WITH THE SUPPORT OF WHO.