“Don’t cry, just strive”: why people chose to fight for Ukraine
Every day, we make a series of decisions that shape our lives. We choose to get married or divorced, change careers, or strive for excellence in our fields. We also decide whether to be engaged citizens or leave Ukraine's future to chance.
Sometimes, a single choice can profoundly impact our lives and the entire country.
Village and the Central Election Commission (CEC) share stories of Ukrainians whose decisions have changed their lives and made a significant difference beyond themselves.
Oleksii Rudenko
Volunteer, serviceman
Right before the full-scale invasion, I was a PhD student at Central European University in Austria, working on my dissertation about the history of Eastern Europe. Simultaneously, I had a scholarship for my research in Lithuania and was involved in a volunteer project called “Night at the University.” My team and I conducted immersive historical tours that combined theatrical scenes with a guide’s narration. As a result, I lived in two countries, traveled frequently, and planned the next season of excursions.
A few days before the invasion, when Putin “recognized” the so-called LNR and DNR, I participated in a small protest at the European Commission embassy and organized a solo picket at the Russian embassy. There was a palpable sense that historic events were unfolding. As Yuriy Gudymenko wrote, “I feel history thickening around us, breathing through the pages, heavy as milk.”
On February 24, my friend and I immediately decided to go to Ukraine. Our background in history likely influenced our decision, as historians often find themselves at the heart of significant events. By studying the history of Eastern Europe, particularly the relationship between Ukraine and Russia, we could anticipate how the situation might develop and the potential consequences of a Russian victory.
On February 24, my friend and I immediately decided to go to Ukraine. Our background in history likely influenced our decision, as historians often find themselves at the heart of significant events. By studying the history of Eastern Europe, particularly the relationship between Ukraine and Russia, we could anticipate how the situation might develop and the potential consequences of a Russian victory.
However, regular bus services had already been canceled, so we arranged to meet in Warsaw to determine our travel options. Before leaving on February 24, I participated in a large demonstration in Vilnius. This campaign helped us realize that we were not alone and had not been abandoned.
On our way to Warsaw, our friends from the history faculty, who had already been mobilized, texted us a list of items they needed: body armor, backpacks, ballistic goggles, helmets, gloves, fleece jackets, and more. I thought, “Okay, I’ll gather everything they’ve requested, send it, and then I’ll go.” However, the flood of requests quickly began and hasn’t stopped since. As a result, we established a volunteer hub in Warsaw to raise funds, purchase essentials, and connect with like-minded people.
In the summer of 2022, when donations started to slow down, I began organizing various demonstrations in Vilnius. Lithuanians, the Ukrainian community, and foreigners were – and still are – very active in contributing. However, I started to feel that my role in the war was becoming less significant. Being abroad didn’t seem as critical, especially since much of the ammunition and drones could be acquired from Ukraine.
I could return to Austria, and I had also won another scholarship at a German research institution set to begin in September. However, I decided that I needed to go back to Ukraine.
I could return to Austria, and I had also won another scholarship at a German research institution set to begin in September. However, I decided that I needed to go back to Ukraine.
I don’t regret my decision to return. Ukraine is making history right now, and if I weren’t participating, I would regret it for the rest of my life. Additionally, academic activities have started to feel quite hypocritical. At conferences, my colleagues from the Academy abroad were discussing high-level topics and trends in methodology development in historical studies while I was reading about the shelling of my hometown, Mykolaiv. Seeing them focused on subjects that seemed so distant from what truly mattered felt wrong.
I'm currently serving in the Defense Forces of Ukraine and volunteering, as our team has created a wonderful community ready to help. Effective horizontal communication is one of the skills I've carried over from my civilian life – especially from my time in the Shevchenko History Department. It really makes things easier when I know who to reach out to and can connect with multiple chats at once. Plus, I picked up some basic drone operating skills in civilian life, which have come in handy!
I believe that those who wanted to find their role in this war have already made their choices. It’s a reflection of the kind of person you are. Are you more focused on making a living, or are you willing to sacrifice for a more significant cause? It's completely normal to feel afraid for your life; that's just human nature. But it's important to push ourselves a bit more in times like these. In a few years or decades, when you look back, you'll want to feel good about what you did and be proud that you gave your all when it really mattered.
Yuliia and Yurko Didula
Parents of three boys
Yurko:
I grew up with five biological siblings and one adopted brother from Kharkiv. Even before I met Yuliia, I envisioned adopting a child someday when I had my own family. When we met and started discussing marriage, we shared our future aspirations, and adoption came up several times. However, we decided to pursue it after we had our own children.
After our wedding, we tried to conceive for two years. By 2023, we realized that we were unlikely to become biological parents. As a result, we decided to begin the adoption process.
By 2023, we realized that we were unlikely to become biological parents. As a result, we decided to begin the adoption process.
By 2023, we realized that we were unlikely to become biological parents. As a result, we decided to begin the adoption process.
Yuliia:
During our training as prospective adoptive parents, we discovered that the chances of adopting a single child are quite slim. So many couples are eager to adopt babies straight from maternity hospitals, resulting in waiting lists that can last for years. This reality led us to consider adopting two children instead; we thought it would be wonderful for them to have each other to laugh and play with. While the idea of adopting three did cross our minds, it felt a bit overwhelming for us.
So we started to explore our adoption options. The circumstances were such that we had only one day between commitments to connect with at least one child in need. That’s when a memory flashed through my mind: Yurko’s sister had tagged us in a heartfelt Facebook post about children looking for loving families. Excited, I searched for that post and found a message that resonated with us:
‘Three healthy, cheerful Cossacks are looking for a loving family. Ages 1, 2, and 9.’
‘Three healthy, cheerful Cossacks are looking for a loving family. Ages 1, 2, and 9.’
The moment I said the word “Cossacks,” Yurko’s face lit up – there was a kind of trigger for him. Overall, the marketing had really done its job. We discovered that the boys were still waiting for adoption in the Poltava region, so we quickly took care of all the paperwork and set off to meet them.
Deciding to adopt was entirely about making a heartfelt choice. Our training sessions taught us that we would recognize our children through our emotions. They told us we’d just know when the time came. When we finally met the boys, Yurko felt that spark, but I was wrestling with uncertainty. While I was left waiting for that magical moment or any sign from my maternal instinct, he seemed so sure, but it just wasn’t happening.
Feeling a bit lost, we reached out to our priest and talked to friends who had successfully adopted three children. They comforted us by saying that doubts were completely natural; this was a huge step, and we needed to release any expectations we might have had about how it should unfold.
As we drove back to Lviv from Poltava, we still hadn’t reached a final decision, but I found myself daydreaming about who might sleep where and how to create cozy little nurseries for the boys. It felt like the beginning of something beautiful, even if I still had some reservations.
As we drove back to Lviv from Poltava, we still hadn’t reached a final decision, but I found myself daydreaming about who might sleep where and how to create cozy little nurseries for the boys. It felt like the beginning of something beautiful, even if I still had some reservations.
Yurko:
Becoming parents indeed turned our lives upside down. When we welcomed our three boys – now ages two, three, and ten – it felt like everything shifted. Each has a unique personality and developmental needs, which keep us on our toes! We found ourselves diving into parenting conversations on Viber, joining clubs, and participating in various activities. At first, the adjustment was overwhelming, but now it feels like we’ve finally found our rhythm and are moving forward together as a family. It's been a journey, but every moment is worth it.
Yulia has a degree in teaching and another in psychology. She did a fantastic job preparing our apartment for the children’s arrival. While we enjoy spending time together, we also have cabinets filled with organized games, so the boys can find something to do on their own. Overall, our main goal is to instill in our children the ability to cope with life independently.
Yulia:
In the first half-year of living with the children, we've truly embraced the fact that they are our little monsters.
In the first half-year of living with the children, we've truly embraced the fact that they are our little monsters.
At first, I was anxious about taking the youngest two for a walk by myself. It felt daunting, but now it's become so much easier. I’ve realized my importance in their lives; they see, hear, and form an irreplaceable bond with me.
Of course, there are tough moments. Some nights, I get up repeatedly because the children cry or wake up far earlier than I anticipated. On top of that, handling nighttime alerts and quick trips to the corridor while juggling work can be overwhelming. But I’ve come to understand that these challenges are part of the parenting journey – a journey that anyone can relate to, no matter how their kids come into their lives.
When faced with a life-changing decision, having someone by your side who says, “Come on, just do it!” – even if they don't fully grasp the situation – can make a world of difference. I genuinely believe that Yurko is the only person who could encourage me to adopt three boys of varying ages. Those first few weeks were overwhelming; I often cried, grateful to have him there to share in this journey.
It's essential to recognize that we all are responsible for the kind of country we want to see in the future. How we raise our children, our professional commitment, and our involvement in volunteering are all interconnected threads shaping Ukraine we will live in ten years from now. While this desire may feel personal, it all begins with a choice and the willingness to embrace the responsibility that comes with it. Together, we can create a brighter future.
Kateryna Terekhova
Volunteer
Like many others from the Donetsk region, I deeply understand that the war began in 2014, not 2022. That year was pivotal in recognizing my identity as a Ukrainian, even though my mother had instilled that sense of belonging in me since childhood. Although she is ethnically Russian, she always emphasized the importance of knowing the Ukrainian language, especially since I was born and raised here.
In 1997, I took a big step and moved to Kyiv, a city I had long dreamed about after visiting with my class during Christmas. I started my career as a hairdresser-stylist, a profession I had learned back in Donetsk. Over time, I expanded my skills to include makeup and nail extensions, often accepting groceries as payment from clients who couldn't afford my services. It was a challenge, but my strong communication skills helped me transition into the restaurant industry. By 2014, I managed Serebro, one of the trendiest premium restaurants, which felt like a significant achievement.
Just before the Revolution of Dignity, I began dreaming about Donetsk. I had vivid dreams about my childhood town, recalling the places where we rode bicycles, the pond, the bungee jump, and the shacks. I woke up with the genuine scent of roses planted throughout the city. It made me realize that this is my home, and I truly want to return. Because of this, I felt compelled to get involved in the events on the Maidan.
Just before the Revolution of Dignity, I began dreaming about Donetsk. I had vivid dreams about my childhood town, recalling the places where we rode bicycles, the pond, the bungee jump, and the shacks. I woke up with the genuine scent of roses planted throughout the city. It made me realize that this is my home, and I truly want to return. Because of this, I felt compelled to get involved in the events on the Maidan.
Working at Serebro really brought a sense of community to my life. Customers trusted me, responding to our Facebook posts not just with donations, but some even offered their cars. I understood their concerns; my vehicle had Donetsk license plates, making me vulnerable to damage in these uncertain times.
Before the Maidan, I spent a lot of time working in construction around local restaurants. That experience made me familiar with building materials and tools, which was invaluable. When I went to buy barbed wire for the barricades, I ensured I also picked up wire cutters and gloves, knowing how important it was to be prepared. I also bought sandpaper to smooth the edges of shovels that needed to be shortened for convenience, ensuring we could work safely and effectively.
People often say I seemed like someone who had built barricades before.
People often say I seemed like someone who had built barricades before.
During those times, I also helped deliver food to the Maidan. I’d send out a message asking for 200 kilograms of minced meat, and before I knew it, someone would jump in with an offer, while others invited me to use their professional meat grinders. The connections I made in the hospitality industry really came in handy then and have continued to be a blessing. Thanks to the amazing group of friends I've gathered over the past 20 years, organizing everything became so much easier!
Eventually, I decided to step away from the premium side of the HoReCa industry because I felt a stronger connection to the underground scene. I joined a Kyiv techno club team, set up food courts at festivals, and eventually became part of another club’s crew. When the full-scale invasion hit, everything happened so fast that I barely had time to digest everything. I stayed in Kyiv, and my friend Oresta Brit, who was already doing incredible work with the Charitable Foundation “BON,” called to see if I could help care for our soldiers. When I asked how many there were, it turned out to be 1,200!
Once again, my amazing contacts from the hospitality world came to the rescue! They opened up the "Metro" at Okruzhna, which was closed then, and let me sneak into "Domosphere" on Novobukhivskyi through a service entrance.
Imagine this: I’m standing in a vibrant pink tracksuit and matching glasses, while the guys pull up in vans to pick up supplies. The girls and I had already filled our cars, so they asked, “Katya, who are you?” They have to navigate several bureaucratic hoops to get all this stuff moving!
Imagine this: I’m standing in a vibrant pink tracksuit and matching glasses, while the guys pull up in vans to pick up supplies. The girls and I had already filled our cars, so they asked, “Katya, who are you?” They have to navigate several bureaucratic hoops to get all this stuff moving!
At the start of the invasion, it felt like anything was possible. I could even find Minister Fedorov's phone number in just ten minutes! My shift from being a ‘socialite’ to a friendly helper happened so smoothly. I realized that my true calling was to support others. So, when we moved to Transcarpathia, I jumped right in and started looking for a place to set up a humanitarian aid warehouse and help displaced people.
Later on, I became involved with the Svalyava sanatorium "Choven," which took in 180 orphaned children and staff from an orphanage in the Donetsk region. I also lent a hand to the Mukachevo orphanage boarding school and another boarding school in the Vinnytsia region. I worked on replacing wiring and lighting, delivered new mattresses, and renovated the showers. Each place had its own tasks to tackle. I won’t sugarcoat it; there were plenty of challenges, but it was all worth it!
Right now, I’m excited to be working on a special integration project for ten families from all over Ukraine! Together with the wonderful folks at the “District#1” fund, we’re building ten cozy homes in the Obukhiv region for families with young kids. We aim to help these families feel right at home in their new community, find jobs, get their children into great schools, and make new friends. It’s a rewarding journey, and I can’t wait to see them thrive!
I understand that many people feel hopeless right now, and it's disheartening to see that some may not want to stay in this country.
I understand that many people feel hopeless right now, and it's disheartening to see that some may not want to stay in this country.
I understand that many people feel hopeless right now, and it's disheartening to see that some may not want to stay in this country. I feel deeply about this issue – we must support those who are committed to making a difference. I truly want to be here! I’ve found my calling, and I believe that even if just a small group of us come together, we can positively impact and help our country regain its strength.
We have a duty to preserve our nation, raise our children, and educate them so they are not as inept as the Russians. I really want to help liberate my treasured Donetsk. That's why I've been in touch with the border guards I’ve helped before. I’ve let them know I’m eager to take on any role, even as the director of the buses to transport Russians out. I just want to be one of the first to contribute to restoring this beautiful land we all care about.
This material was prepared with the support of
This project was implemented by the Central Election Commission and the International Foundation for Electoral Systems (IFES) in Ukraine with the support of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) and British aid from the Government of Great Britain.